You learn a great deal about yourself after a life changing event or series of events. Perhaps, I should change that to “you can learn” instead of “you learn”. Knowledge and wisdom come with a price tag. We never know what the price costs us. Regardless the cost, it seems as though it depends on you to see beyond the pain to a place where you are stronger, wiser. People who are burdened by mood disorders are affected differently than those who don’t suffer from such illnesses. Not only is the pain deeper, lasts longer, much more intense, it also takes us repeated tries to move forward, to see the light.
This can be especially true of the initial diagnosis. There are those of us who feel a sense of relief when the diagnosis is delivered. It is almost like the stars align into patterns that reveal constellations. A life of seemingly random events, moods, lifestyle are now given a name; a world once lived in chaos is now an explained, real illness which can be managed and actively treated. For some of us, it is the opposite. The diagnosis is a brutal awakening to a life of chaos. Despite the unquestionable, undeniable evidence that supports the illness, the label of the diagnosis is gut wrenching and painful. The awakening process is just the beginning into a brand new world.